24 Hours in the Life Cycle of a Teacher, 2021

Light thrown bounces back

Yesterday: Teaching this year was an enormous challenge. For one thing, as much as I am truly grateful for the privilege of being able to stay safe while teaching over Zoom, the truth is, I have reached the point that I categorically fucking hate it. I’ve become the grinning, unpopular host of a tedious show that disaffected teens are compelled to watch. I gather up my desperate Pollyanna energy and cast it into the gaping maw of my computer screen. In return for what feels like a kamikaze mom-teacher tap-dancing act, all I ask of my students is to occasionally look attentive and turn in their assignments.

There are of course, the wonderful exceptions who make me feel like yes, it’s been tough, but we’re moving ahead. I even dare to begin to hope that I’m quasi-effectively helping them grow as writers.

It wasn’t until this pandemic year that my go-to, throwing light on shade, stopped working. The end of the school year is a distant shore, and I’m already tired of swimming. I want to make my exit from teaching while I still have light to throw, and the inclination to throw it.

Today: Oh my god, I love these kids! Every one of them so funny and open and gifted! After our Zoom class, we made a solemn vow to go out for boba tea when we’re back in person next year.

I cannot wait.