Dog Seeks Fox
Like a moth to the flame. And I'm responsible for the moth.
The plastic cooler had been sitting on our porch for two weeks. Why this urgent need to empty the stagnating pool of water within seized me, I have no idea. But, as I opened the porch door, Charlie slid out and ran into our neighbor’s backyard.
The yard, which has run riot for decades, is a mass of brambles, poison ivy, and dead trees downed by thick vines. I dreaded going in but had already spent ten minutes calling to Charlie that I had tuna (a lie) and that Hannah (his favorite person) was here (another lie). I watched him recede deeper into the chaos before vanishing altogether.
I changed from Crocs into sneakers to navigate the grabby underbrush and stabby overgrowth. Around halfway in I could see Charlie exploring a hole in a mound of hard-packed dirt. He had poked his entire stupid head into it. As I got closer I saw a decapitated mouse in a pool of dried blood, a sign this was the den of the neighborhood fox. Scooping Charlie up, I clawed a bloody path back home.
Who are you, even? I asked Charlie, once we were inside. The dog I slather with special coconut-scented shampoo as we share our morning shower? The dog who makes mincing dance-pony steps, first right paw, then left, to facilitate the strapping on of his turquoise harness? Or a brainless heat-seeking missile tearing through a hellscape of death thorns and rodent carnage, target: the lair of a predator?
There is something about Charlie that has always felt remote to me. Unknowable. For one thing, he doesn’t talk, and for another, I suspect he sees me not as a unique beloved human companion but a functionary who bags his shit and sneaks him snacks even though everyone keeps nagging me not to.
Also, his jailer.
I picked a twig out of Charlie’s fur and refilled his water bowl. He followed me to the refrigerator, anticipating the slice of premium roasted deli chicken which I would feed him, acutely aware I was indulging a furry ingrate, biding his time until his next chance to break free.