Kitchen Apologia

Setting the Bar Super Low on Lockdown Cuisine

Everyday pandemic life is on loop, so for many, it seems that one opportunity for discovery and amusement is in the kitchen. Though this particular creative outlet is not one I’ve embraced, I wish lockdown chefs well, and admire the Instagram posts they turn out.

Among these culinary thrill-seekers are my progeny, some of whom live under my roof. Aside from the show cuisine, I sense there is an ongoing expectation, implied or perceived, that as mom and the only one with a part-time instead of a full-time job, I have a plan when it comes to dinner.

I do have a plan, actually, and it’s pretty simple. It’s called survival.  I will put something on the table, and it will sustain you.

I can make precisely four things: baked chicken, pasta and meat sauce, chocolate chip cookies, and any bland fish that you can stick in the oven for 15 minutes. That being said, I can set the table and unload the dishwasher like a boss. Most nights I can maintain a conversation at the dinner table, and I’ll always inquire if you’d like some kind of beverage. Why is it that I can write a novel, but struggle with browning onions? The sad truth is that by 5:30 p.m., I am just trying to make it to the end of the day so I can watch television.

I feel a little sad about not getting on board with the food thing, because literally everyone I know has. It feels like a cool parade that’s passed me by. I have other skills, though, other passions and generosities, like an open ear and big heart and a Venmo account. I’m here for you, truly I am, only not so much in the kitchen.