Momdad

A Loving Tribute by the Runner-Up

         When Sam and I got married, I knew he’d made Phi Beta Kappa and had excellent teeth, but beyond encouraging genes, I had zero idea as to the kind of father he’d make. Fortunately for me and the half-dozen humans he co-produced, the answer was extraordinary.

         Consider the dogcat. Dogcats are cats that are ferociously loyal, love belly rubs, and come running when you call them. Similarly, Sam is a momdad. Dads are terrific in their own right, but with momdads, you layer atop them the attributes often ascribed to moms at their best: patient, nurturing and generous. In fact (and this is tough to admit) forget the whole momdad thing, as a parent, I’d choose him over me any day. Example: my kids know from experience that if you want the perfect chocolate milkshake at 11:30 p.m., Sam’s your guy. I love my kids, but sorry, at 11:30 p.m., the single thing I consider unconditional is not love, but sleep. Sam’s dedication knows no such limits. Without fail, he shows up to do the work of being a loving parent, and here’s the crazy part: he actually gets a kick out of it.

         Sam, thank you for twenty-seven years of me coming up short by comparison. And thank you for making a life where we are tasked with raising so many lively and distinctive young humans feel like the best thing that could happen to anyone, ever. Happy Momdad’s Day.

It’s been 18 years since I wrote this, but I last night I was lying in bed, remembering it, because it still rings true. The kids are adults now, so those late-night milkshakes have been replaced by expert tax advice, but Sam is still a momdad, and I am still in awe.