Over Coffee
The Dots Connect.
When I first met Leah, I was sitting on a bench in a school gym. It was my first year teaching, and in that particular moment I was mired in regret over the fact I said yes rather than no or even I’ll think about it when asked if I would coach the JV volleyball team. I knew bupkis about volleyball, and they’d asked me to coach out of desperation.
This was the afternoon Leah walked in on. She was waiting for her older sister to finish the practice I was woefully mishandling. Leah’s presence was grudging, just like mine, and misery loving company, I felt an immediate kinship. A week later I made her team manager, an unofficial designation which gave her dignity and purpose. We grew into the season together.
Leah and I lost touch, and over a decade passed. Life goes on. For Leah, there would be an unthinkable tragedy; the older sister Leah waited for at volleyball practice went on to become a teacher and, incredibly, a volleyball coach. A few years ago, one dark winter morning, she was crossing a Manhattan street on her way to work and was hit by a truck. She was killed instantly.
Leah had just graduated from college. I contacted her to tell her how heartbroken I was, that hoped she was okay, and we have stayed in touch since.
Yesterday we got together at a coffee shop in New Haven. She is almost done with her master’s program in social work, and when I asked what her dream job was, she said working with girls in their early teens, focusing on confidence-building and body image issues. That is who she wants to be, and it isn’t lost on me that her sister, back in the JV volleyball days, was that person for Leah.
It hit me that life presents itself as random stuff happening. Volleyball, bored kid sister, unthinkable tragedy, career paths, meeting up after work late on a winter afternoon. The links emerge retrospectively. Personally, I don’t believe in predestination, but I do believe in the connectivity of small moments where we paid attention, made the effort beyond ourselves. I do believe love is the common thread. I do believe the dots connect. I mean, I’d thought of JV volleyball as my punishment for saying yes, but yesterday, looking across the table at my friend Leah, I understand it was my reward.