Perfect Allegory

Political allegory has a long history. Plato’s “The Allegory of the Cave” depicts how political ignorance blinds people to the true nature of reality and justice. Orwell’s Animal Farm traced the ominous rise of Stalinism.

I recently discovered the perfect political allegory for the Trump era, and the great thing is, I get to read it aloud to my two-year-old grandson.

The book is Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle. Using basic words readily accessible to our current Toddler-in-Chief, it’s as short his attention span and if he still gets lost, there are lots of pictures.

The story is about a friendly Little Blue Truck who takes the time to greet every creature he passes, from a horse and cow to sheep and chickens and a big green toad, with his trademark “beep!”. Everyone loves the Little Blue Truck. One day, Blue is tootling along and the big fat (Schertle’s word, not mine) Dump (replace the D with a Tr and you get Trump) comes barreling along. He doesn’t have time to “pass the day, with every duck along the way” because he’s a self-aggrandizing narcissist with his own agenda. In a clumsy attempt to avoid a puddle (the Epstein files) the Dump swerves and rolls into the mud (Iran) so his big lardass wheels get stuck. A chicken at heart (T.A.C.O.) he’s scared, and he yells for help, but none of the animals he has dissed (Europe and all the other former allies) come to his aid. The Little Blue Truck helps him, though, just like Pete Buttegeig would, because he’s a goddamn saint. He does his best to push the Dump and winds up getting stuck, too, because it’s his nature to help even the most irredeemable turds. Little Blue beeps his beep three times and all his animal friends come running to help him (and by extension, the Dump). Their group effort falls short, and it takes one final push with the big green toad (symbolizing growth and transformation) to free Blue and Dump. Dump starts calling Blue “Little Brother” and incredibly, Blue doesn’t tell Dump to fuck off. He just lets Dump’s transactional effusion spew. When Dump says, “Now I see a lot depends/ on a helping hand from a few good friends,” Blue changes the subject, asking his animal friends if they want a ride and of course they all do. They climb aboard and take off into the sunset, leaving Dump and his load of gravel to drive off alone.

Donald Trump was just at the NATO summit, alienating our allies left and right. There’s no Little Blue Truck to demonstrate how we work best when we work together, that bullies are losers and when they find themselves mired in muck, it’s a fitting and satisfying comeuppance that only altruistic collaboration (if it’s still available) can fix.

Just telling you about this has me itching to babysit next week so I can relish-read aloud Little Blue Truck. It makes me feel… how can I put it? Beep! Beep! Beep!