Restored

My Obsession With Brett Waterman, Explained

Brett Waterman, star of the DIY television series “Restored,” has a passion for preservation! He tells you this, burbling with delight, wearing a cowboy hat and grin that won’t quit. Brett Waterman finds homes in Southern California that have been egregiously remodeled and brings them back to “the way they were intended to be.”

For a variety of reasons, I am obsessed with Brett Waterman and his show.

There is his goober-y personality. Brett Waterman is always excited to meet the homeowners, and genuinely wants to know what brought them to the house. What do they like about it? What areas require work? The homeowners always have modest budgets; they are flexible but clear about what they need. They also seem pretty cool with leaving things up to Brett Waterman.

Brett Waterman calls people “Bucko!” and “Bud!” when he gets excited, which is inevitable, and all the time.

After Brett Waterman first tours the house he’s about to work on, he tells the owners he needs to sit down with a pad of paper to work out some of his ideas. Then he sets his gangly cowboy-hatted self beneath a shady tree and draws. The audience is shown a digitized conceptualization but somehow we believe that this is what Brett’s drawing actually looks like on his pad of paper, because he sells it with his confidence.

Brett Waterman gets so excited about everything that he’s always swallowing and tripping over his words. It’s like he’s got a mouthful of marbles that he can’t wait to play with. Brett Can’t Wait To Get Started!

I love the careful way Brett Waterman enunciates the two main things he’s hoping to achieve: Authenticity and Functionality.

Before construction begins, Brett Waterman checks in with the homeowners about his ideas and sometimes they tell him no. He starts with “Would you be open to…” and when he hears yes, he’s over the moon, but when it’s a hard no, he just says, “okay, then,” and moves on. He doesn’t take it personally that you’re not open to a classic linoleum floor and insist on standard hardwood. That’s okay, Bud. Brett Waterman is Gonna Make It Work.

Brett Waterman surrounds himself with a trusted team of experts. He’s got his carpenter, his flooring expert, his landscaper, and his interior designer. Actually, the designers have changed several times over the show’s five seasons, which is fine by me, since they bring Brett to their shops and boss him around. I don’t go for that.

I love how Brett Waterman hugs both males and females with the same feverish gusto. Everyone always looks happy but a little freaked out.

I love that Brett Waterman is a mystery. Is he married, gay, straight? Brett’s not telling! He was born in Palm Springs and grew up on a farm in Oklahoma, then returned to California to go to U.C.L.A. and major in History and Political Science. That’s what I know about Brett, courtesy of Wikipedia. I don’t need to know more.

I love Brett Waterman’s finished work. Occasionally he gets a room slightly wrong, but only rarely. He’s always looking for light, space, and yes, Authenticity and Functionality.

Did I mention Brett Waterman is a big goober? He feels very special to me, as someone whose California uncles exude the same sweet goofball charm. Up close, protracted, it’ll drive you nuts, but on a TV screen for 43-minute segments, it’ll melt your heart.

Brett Waterman, at the end of the day, when I’ve grown weary and my mood is bleak, I imagine myself a 1898 Queen Anne or classic mid-century ranch in your capable hands. I can count on my time with you to leave me, well, Restored.