Vow to Self...
To Quit Talking Shit About My Friend
I was making an appointment for Charlie’s annual physical and the receptionist at the vet’s office asked if this Thursday would work.
“Sure,” I said, before glancing down at my calendar and seeing that on Thursday I’ll be in California. “Oops, sorry,” I said. “Thursday’s no good,” adding,” I’m an idiot.”
She paused, and I paused, too, because the word idiot came out much more harshly than I’d intended, plus, idiot is a charged, aggressive word, in and of itself.
My intention had been to put myself down in a joking way; instead, my word choice and delivery stopped our mundane scheduling conversation dead in its tracks.
My daughter Sarah likes to say, when she hears me being excessively self-deprecating, “Stop talking shit about my friend,” which strikes me as perfect. Not only is it playful (the same tone I hoped I was striving for when calling myself an idiot) but rather than coming across as chiding, it’s got sass and affection and brings the offender up not cold, but warm, like a hug.
After the pause, the rest of the call proceeded normally. I rescheduled Charlie’s appointment, thanked the receptionist, said goodbye. After hanging up, I told Sarah’s friend I’d try harder to stop talking shit about her. She gets me, and understands old habits are tough to break, but I- make that both of us-remain hopeful.